The Celtics’ rivals handed them a championship one bad trade at a time

The West is a pecked-over, apron-strewn, parity-fest. The East has more superstar divas on first and second-round losers than it does 50-win teams. If 2023-24 turns indicative, it will be the Rest of the NBA vs. Boston for the next few years.

Not only did the 2023-24 Boston Celtics conclude a run for the ages — 80 victories in 101 tries, seven wins more than any other club, +11.4 regular season point differential, +8 postseason point differential — but it appears fit and settled to rule the NBA for as long as it takes Victor Wembanyama to find four palatable teammates to perform with.

Every Achilles has its heels: Boston owns merely traditional medicine’s answers for Unicorn Legs, 38-year old Al Horford is irreplaceable, at some future date opposing centers and forwards may learn not to attempt dunks upon the 6’4 Derrick White. Jaylen Brown and Jayson Tatum might turn on one another, some argument over selling shares of the publishing rights to their inspirational story of friendship, playmaking. Boston is otherwise set.

Who do we blame for putting the NBA in this mess? Sensible authors credit the executives, former C’s boss Danny Ainge and current C’s chief Brad Stevens. I’d rather yell at the teams who traded Boston all these great players.

Milwaukee, for one. Picked to upend the East, never threatened. Boston knew it had the Bucks licked by the time Terry Stotts stormed out of his brand-new office. Not because Milwaukee was a mess, but because Boston was finishing its second week of practice with former Buck Jrue Holiday, a walking championship ring, the ultimate five-tool mensch.

Did Milwaukee know Holiday would end up in Boston when it triggered the trade with the Trail Blazers for Damian Lillard? Did Milwaukee care, or were the Bucks too besotted with Lillard’s 32.2-point potential?

Can we punish Portland for lending the C’s their shine? If the Blazer rebuilding plans falter, in spite of earning Golden State’s 2024 lottery pick (and Boston’s unprotected first-rounder in 2029) in October’s Holiday exchange, will we scoff in the future at Portland’s lost opportunity to field Jrue until he’s through?

No, blame Brooklyn.

All the shenanigans which indirectly helped Boston build its Larry Bird-backed champs in the 1980s — swapping entire teams with the Buffalo Braves, drafting Bird while he still plays college basketball, lopsided deals with Detroit and Golden State, seriously, what are the Buffalo Braves — barely compare to what the Brooklyn Nets handed the Boston Celtics in 2013.

Boston won 41 games and exited after the first round in 2012-13. Brooklyn called Boston on draft night to say Hey, that rebuilding you didn’t want anything to do with? We’ll take over from here.

Danny Ainge steered an uncomfortable, seemingly inevitable slog toward oblivion into the C’s you sees today: Boston traded Kevin Garnett, Paul Pierce and Jason Terry for the first-round picks (from Brooklyn and Atlanta) which became Jaylen Brown, Jayson Tatum, and Collin Sexton. And James Young.

The deal earned Boston a trade exception which it used to deal for the first-round pick it later packaged to acquire Isaiah Thomas. Thomas plus Sexton’s draft rights were dealt for Kyrie Irving.

Amongst the salary fodder gleaned from the Brooklyn deal was Keith Bogans’ ongoing contract, which Boston eventually dealt for Dwight Powell, an asset in the 2014 Rajon Rondo deal with Dallas. The $12.9 million trade exception earned from the Rondo transaction was dealt with Jeff Green to Memphis for the first-round pick which became Aaron Nesmith. Nesmith became Malcolm Brogdon, whose charms lured Portland into dealing Jrue Holiday to Boston.

Brooklyn did not flourish in the wake of its acquisitions. The ex-Celt Nets lost in the second round in 2014 and finished two games behind a 40-win Boston playoff team in 2015 before fading in the opening round to Atlanta, the Hawks thriving in 2014-15 despite the loss of James Young.

The 76ers own a percentage in our green future. Philly fans should be angry, the suits in the front office keep pulling crap like this:

Jaylen Brown, taken No. 3 overall in the 2016 draft by Boston (with Brooklyn’s pick) won Eastern finals MVP and NBA Finals MVP in 2024. Ben Simmons was Philly’s pick as the NBA’s top overall selection in 2016, the ostensible payoff after seasons of Processing, and hasn’t played important basketball in three years. Jaylen Brown won the 2024 Dunk Contest slamming with his off hand, we still don’t know if Ben Simmons uses the correct hand while shooting.

Brown made All-Rookie team as Boston cruised to the 2017 Eastern finals, while Simmons missed his entire rookie campaign with a broken foot, earning Philly the No. 3 pick in the 2017 draft. Boston owned the top pick, from Brooklyn, and Philly general manager Bryan Colangelo collared together a trade package for his division rival: Boston earns a future first-round pick and deals down to No. 3 to select Jayson Tatum. Newly slanted into the top selection, Philly selected Markelle Fultz, later dealt for Tyrese Maxey, who is not Jayson Tatum.

Boston used the pick Philly sent its way (2019’s No. 14 pick Romeo Langford) in the package for Derrick White.

That’s right, blame the Spurs.

Romeo Langford played two-and-a-half excruciating seasons in Boston. Langford lapped up 94 games of what-was-that-shot basketball before the Spurs took Romeo and Josh Richardson and a future first-rounder (from the Celtics, so, big whup) for Derrick White, who big whups opponents’ shots all over the place.

White blocked just as many shots with the Spurs, but whupping must be easier with bigs like Al Horford and Kristaps Porziņģis running astride Derrick. Back to blame.

In 2019 the Sixers signed Al Horford away from the Celtics, real underhanded stuff, tremendous work, the sort of thing to do (instead of trading lottery picks) to a divisional rival. Whether Al worked alongside Joel Embiid or backed him up, whatever, do what one can to hurt the Celtics.

Of course, the Celtics swept the Horford-stretched Sixers out of Al’s only postseason with Philadelphia. The 76ers lost nerve a month into the next season and dealt Horford and what will likely be Philly’s 2025 first-round pick to Oklahoma City for Danny Green.

Boston earned Horford back for the price of its own first-round pick in 2021 (Alperen Şengün), happily paid for the final $53.5 million on the back end of the deal Al signed with Philly, a tag which earned them the Bird rights to keep Horford through 2025 at under $10 million per season.

Horford could have been a Sixer the whole time, spelling Embiid, not being on the Celtics.

Also, why did Washington trade Kristaps Porziņģis to Boston as if Washington were the ones getting Marcus Smart or a first-round pick in the deal? The Wizards received neither, and let the Celtics tow their unicorn away. Boston ganked what turned into Golden State’s 2024 lottery pick out of that deal, used to sweeten the swap for Holiday.

Want to add more sugar? Blame the Lakers while they’re down and out in a Beverly Hills restaurant where they have an uncomfortably-large tab, lowballing another head coach candidate.

In the 2016 NBA draft the Lakers selected Brandon Ingram on the board with Jaylen Brown available, and in 2017 chose Lonzo Ball with Jayson Tatum in play. Each were understandable selections, each played the largest role in ensuring Anthony Davis’ move to El Lay, neither was any better than Jaylen Brown and Jayson Tatum, a duo to rule the world with.

The Celtics gave everyone a chance, left itself prone to accurate criticism through loss after postseason loss yet mostly kept course. Boston fell to the usual batch of rough injury and bad free agent luck, whiffed on some vets, blew some playoff games at home. Even this season’s “be careful, he’s always injured” trade risk — the regular season-saving Porziņģis — was injured for the important half the playoffs.

Credit the Celtics, a dominant turn in 2023-24 after a decade’s dismantling of the Big Three’s single championship.

But blame them for what comes next, the actualization of Daryl Morey’s threes-first philosophy, 29 other NBA teams showing up to 2024-25 ready to attempt 49 three-pointers per game.

This shouldn’t be the C’s legacy, this club is far too pleasant to watch. Eight or nine different NBA teams ensured as much.

Kelly Dwyer covers the NBA at The Second Arrangement and thinks the NBA should cap three-pointers at 33 attempts per team per game, Larry Bird’s number.