I regret quitting my job. What is the best way to ask for it back?

Interested in more work-life content? Check out our weekly Careers newsletter. Sent every Sunday afternoon.

THE QUESTION

After a particularly challenging few weeks at work and a very frustrating meeting, I verbally quit my job to my manager and walked out partway through the workday. That was after rallying off a list of reasons why I thought my manager and team were dysfunctional. It’s been a few days and I’ve had time to cool off and realize the weight of my actions (plus, I have bills to pay). I want to ask for my job back, but I also still believe in the dysfunctionalities that I vocalized. What’s the most tactful way for me to get my job back?

THE FIRST ANSWER

Natasha Lakhani, vice-president of people and talent, Super.com, Toronto

Everyone gets frustrated and loses control from time to time. When it comes to expressing these emotions at work, we all must ensure we do it with respect and professionalism. In this situation, your employer is not obligated to give you your job back; however, what I would suggest you do given your desire to return, is start by requesting a meeting to explain your actions. Should they accept your request, the sole purpose of this meeting is to rectify the relationship with the organization.

I would start with ensuring you are prepared for that meeting with notes and rehearse what you will say and how you will say it. This should start with you sincerely apologizing for your actions (assuming this is the first time this has happened), calling out how this was uncharacteristic of you and admitting you should have found a more appropriate way to communicate your level of frustration in a more constructive and timely manner.

Secondly, you should ask if they would be open to you sharing with them your feedback on why you were frustrated and where you observed existing dysfunctions leading to your behaviour of prematurely resigning and walking out. If they allow you the time to meet, accept your apology and listen to your feedback, you can simply state that ultimately, you were wrong, you recognize your mistakes and hope that they would reconsider reinstating you in your previously held role. Even if you don’t get reinstated, you will have left on much more professional terms and given a more mature impression of your character.

I will note though, my recommendation in this situation is that you move on from this organization after apologizing and leaving on more professional terms. The assumed dysfunction doesn’t just resolve itself when you leave and I suspect you will be faced with the same assumed situation that caused you to feel frustrated if you were reinstated.

THE SECOND ANSWER

Bruce Sandy, principal, Pathfinder Coaching. Nanoose Bay, B.C.

I appreciate that you were under stress and acted quickly without thinking when you verbally quit and walked out of your workplace.

Bottom line: you need to ask for forgiveness and understanding from your boss if you want to keep your job.

Consider what you would do if you were in your boss’s place. They can accept your resignation, cite you for unprofessional and reactive behaviour and place something on your file/record or they can forgive you and take you back with some clear conditions.

The three things you should be prepared to give are an apology, reasons to keep you and a personal plan for approaching challenges and frustrations differently moving forward.

Don’t be attached to a particular outcome in starting the conversation. Check your attitude at the door. Be contrite, apologetic, open and curious as opposed to judgmental, blaming or defensive. Take ownership of your views and do not blame or point the finger of dysfunctionality at your boss and/or the company.

Apologize in writing and in person. Point out what you appreciate about your job, the company and your boss. State what motivated you to act impulsively. Share that your stress levels and frustration led you to act impulsively.

State what you have learned from this situation and how you want to work to address the challenges differently moving forward. Consider seeking professional support through counselling and/or coaching to help you deal with your stress, frustrations and impulsivity.

If your boss accepts your apology and wants to retain you, then talk about how you will work differently in the future. Also, be open to any repercussions such as losing a half day’s pay, a letter being placed on your file and/or other mandated employment conditions.

Have a question for our experts? Send an e-mail to NineToFive@globeandmail.com with ‘Nine to Five’ in the subject line. Emails without the correct subject line may not be answered.