How Bachelorette Party Photos Sparked Serious Friend Drama Days Before Wedding

Facing an awkward situation with the bride-to-be, an anonymous woman took to Reddit’s infamous AITA (“Am I the A–hole”) forum to ask readers whether she was being “unreasonable” for asking pictures of her to be removed or for her to be cropped out of them for religious reasons.

After sharing her story and getting a somewhat mixed response, OP (a.k.a. the “original poster”) then shared another post on the site — revealing what happened in the days following her initial query.

“To start this off I am a muslim woman who wears the hijab. I cover my hair and most of my body. I do not judge those who don’t do the same, nor do I try to impose my beliefs onto others,” OP, a 23-year-old woman, began her post. “Everyone will have their own personal journeys, and just as I know I’m not perfect, I can’t judge others for it either.”

Explaining that she went to a bachelorette party for a friend she’s known since kindergarten named Maya, OP said the celebration was “women only, no drinks, just girls being girls and celebrating a friends soon to be marriage.”

“She isn’t religious, but she accepts my views and even going to let me wear a more modest style abaya as her maid of honor. This is to say Maya understands the hijab and what it means to me, or so I thought,” OP continued.

The woman said she decided to take off her hijab at the party, as there were only women in attendance. While photos were taken at the event, she said she had no problem when that “since my friends are usually respectful and don’t post them anywhere” and the pictures usually just stay in their group chat. But when she got home the next day and checked her phone, she realized that’s not what happened.

“I opened instagram to the tagged icon and checked it to see myself and the girls on Maya’s public account. I quickly messaged Maya asking her to take it down before anyone else saw, as I couldn’t control whether or not some guy was going to see her post, and she refused saying that there were no other good photos of her,” shared OP.

OP said she also suggested cropping her out of the photo “or even draw over my hair and neck,” before being told she was “overreacting.”

“I insisted I wasn’t and that she knew that I couldn’t show my hair to just anyone. Instead of responding to me, she took it to the group chat as some sort of ‘counsel,'” OP continued, claiming half of the women agreed Maya shouldn’t have shared the photos of her, while a few others “told me I was overreacting and no one cared besides me.”

“Most of us are urging her to take down the post, and now she’s claiming we’re putting her under a lot of stress with the wedding only a week away, but I don’t see what that has to do with this,” OP concluded, before asking, “Am I really being unreasonable for wanting to be respected? AITA?”

OP’s post did receive an official “Not the A-hole” label by Reddit voters, with many agreeing she wasn’t in the wrong for her demand.

“NTA. she’s not your friend. if a friend of mine asked me to remove a photo with them in it, for WHATEVER reason, they’d be removed from the photo before the day ended,” read the most popular reaction. “My friends can trust me 100% that I won’t put them in a position that makes them uncomfortable. But, at this point, you have no control. You can ask her to remove the photo, but you can’t control it. Learn from this and don’t trust her again. You can’t let your guard down around everyone.”

“This feels like the hijab version of tricking someone into eating something that isn’t halal/kosher/vegetarian just to publicly point it out after the fact. It’s not just a lack of respect, it’s a violation,” added someone else.

Many people also suggested OP report the photos to Instagram, to see if that could lead to a possible removal — while one reader wrote, “I would let her know to lose my number and she won’t be seeing me at the wedding. She violated OP’S trust.”

Not everyone was fully on OP’s side, however, with a number of people also commenting that ESH, or “Everyone Sucks Here.”

“If you knew photos were being taken you should have probably stayed covered up, since at that point you relinquish control over who sees them. I realize that usually they stay within the group chat, but even then, spouses, SO’s and parents might be privy to them,” read one comment. “You probably should have said something to the photographer(s) at the time they took the pics. They probably should have thought about the implications of showing pictures of you with your hair uncovered.”

“Never allow photos to be taken that you don’t want other people to see. If you’re so devout that you can’t even let people to see your hair, then you shouldn’t have been in photos with your hair exposed,” read another. “At the same time if she was a true friend that understands, and respects your religious beliefs/practices then she wouldn’t post such photos.”

After another comment said that “given how much people post pictures they take online these days, it’s a reasonable assumption to make your friend wanted to share those pictures,” OP responded, saying she “trusted those girls to see me” and not “anyone who could stumble upon her page.” She also clarified that she wasn’t even in every photo and most of them were candids, not posed.

A couple days after her initial post, OP shared another post to the same Reddit thread — giving a big update on what happened between her and the bride-to-be.

“I wanted to give it a couple days before I updated to let the situation cool down or hopefully resolve itself. In short, the post got taken down, the wedding is still happening, and I’m still friends with her,” OP revealed.

The woman said it was actually her friend’s fiancé who told her to remove the photos.

“He’s Christian, but from what I understand, his mother veils and he understands the rules around hijab a good bit,” she wrote. “He felt bad and I had to reassure him that it wasn’t his fault and thanked him for talking to Maya for me. He asked if this whole situation would affect our friendship, and I told him I wasn’t sure in what way.”

Eventually, Maya reached out and apologized, saying that she “didn’t think it was a big deal since her other Muslim friend doesn’t wear the hijab and she thought I was simply being dramatic.” OP explained to her that it’s a personal choice, before asking the bride-to-be why her initial request to remove the photos wasn’t enough.

“She said she wasn’t thinking straight and felt like it didn’t matter in the grand scheme of things. It was only when her fiancé brought it up to her that she took it down,” she wrote. “She put the other four photos up (the ones without me in them) and she realized that she was being stubborn for no reason. She asked me if there was anything she could do to make up for it and I asked her to just keep it in the past.”

OP went on to explain that because the pair have been friends for “almost two decades,” cutting Maya out of her life over this — as some suggested — “would be so out of proportion.” She added that she also did not report the photos, or “abandon my faith like some of you suggested.”

“This may not be the update some were wanting, but at least things are better now and the wedding is soon and going as planned,” she concluded.

What do you think?