Flatter: Vacation is over, but racing still takes time off

I got back from a long vacation last weekend. Really long. I
knew I was getting eager to return to work when, with about five days to go, I
found myself at a Louisville bar with a couple friends. Instead of carrying on with
our usual banter about beloved wives, partisan politics, bad baseball and dirty
jokes, we actually talked about racing.

If only racing had returned from its own long break.

They threw a Grade 1 race at Churchill Downs for older horses
last week, but no Grade 1 winners showed up. In truth, one actually did for the
Stephen Foster, but Classic Causeway’s turf triumph two years ago at Belmont Park
looks more and more fluky with the passage of time. Throw that out, and the
field came in a combined 0-for-21 at the top level.

It could have been worse. Like Saturday, when the biggest,
most expensive race on the North America calendar this long, holiday weekend drew
a whopping five horses. That would be the $750,000 Belmont Derby Invitational.
Come to think of it, that was the Grade 1 race Classic Causeway won a couple
years ago.

Also Saturday, the Nerud (G2) drew five. The Dwyer (G3) four.
Thursday’s Victory Ride (G3) five. If I did not know better, I would say BAQ looked
more like SA. Saratoga and Del Mar cannot start soon enough.

While we wait and see what happens on either side of the
country during the honest-to-goodness, true summer of racing, we had holiday
distractions Thursday. Like the new snit between the New York Racing
Association and FanDuel TV.

Actually, it is an old snit. We have seen this before, even
if it was not exactly NYRA and the artist formerly known as TVG. Who has not
lived through some channel or streaming service being cut off because our internet
provider or satellite service or cable company was digging in its feet to avoid
paying a jacked-up fee?

Talk about a Friday news dump. This Thursday holiday time bomb
was a pyrotechnic dud that was served up to horseplayers, especially if we avail
ourselves to the alternatives to watch NYRA races or bet on them.

As one industry insider told me between picnics and
fireworks, “Almost all of NYRA’s big deals sunset on June 30. They want to have
the leverage heading into Saratoga.”

This is a familiar summer feeling. Every July and August
there are NFL training-camp holdouts who put their fanbases in a panic over
their potential absences when the games start to count. And every September,
right around Labor Day, these holdouts sign contracts just in time to miss the
drudgery of the preseason and still show up for that first day of real practice
on the Wednesday before the real competition starts.

All this leverage is built on money. Of course it is. Just
as Ohlmeyer famously told Kornheiser, the answer to all your questions is
money. And my money says this NYRA-FDTV battle will be resolved before 1:10
p.m. EDT on Thursday morning. I will put the over-under somewhere in the middle
of Andy Serling and Sara Elbadwi talking horses.

All this, however, was not the strangest signal that
vacation was over and summer was not. That actually landed in my inbox late Thursday
morning in the form of a news release from Churchill Downs on behalf of Ellis
Park.

“Today’s opening day card at Ellis Park Racing & Gaming
will unfortunately be run without patrons due to unscheduled grandstand
maintenance issue.”

Who did not read that and think the ancient grandstand on
the other side of the river from Evansville had crumbled to the verge of being
condemned? What else were we to discern from the phrase “unscheduled grandstand
maintenance issue”?

Then we found out it was a problem with a recent thunderstorm
that caused a power outage that somehow drained the water supply that did not
recover in time for the fans who might have wanted to, number 1, have a thirst-quenching
drink and, number 2, go number 1.

Somehow, then, in corporate speak, the water supply
translated to “unscheduled grandstand maintenance issue.” That was like saying
the great Chicago fire of 1871 was a cattle-barn management issue.

At least we were gifted with anew catchphrase. It can go
right up there with some of the iconic four-word utterances of all time. “Will
you marry me?” “Have a good day.” “No guts, no glory.” “You only live once.” “We
finally beat Medicare.”

Please forgive this heaping helping of cynicism. Even a long
vacation cannot cure me of what that sage Conan O’Brien declared 14 years ago to
be his least favorite quality in humanity. Conan may need a friend, but he will
not be desperate to make my acquaintance.

Frankly, I was refueled by a visit with old friends in my
hometown Chico, Calif. I got to see Lake Oroville filled up to the rim of the
dam two weeks ago. Since I returned to Kentucky, I read now that the nearby
area is on fire. Sigh.

I also spent time in San Diego, where I managed to tour an old
aircraft carrier and miss Del Mar. Have Thoroughbreds, will travel. I will make
up for it in four months at the Breeders’ Cup.

Sharing drinks with friends after returning home last month
was a grand way to complete the time off. Nothing like consuming spirits to
buoy spirits.

Here is a toast, then, to better days coming next week at
Saratoga and in two weeks at Del Mar. And here is hoping all this anticipation
is matched by the reality, and that commenters below have plenty of new grist
for this mill that has been idle for the past month. Remember my snark, accurately.