Daragh Fleming used basketball and writing to cope with mental health issues

TWELVE years ago Daragh Fleming was just like every other young secondary school student in the country.

He was a happy go lucky kid, loved playing basketball with his friends at Fr Mathew’s basketball club, however, everything changed for him on January 20, 2012, when his best friend Erbie Underwood took his own life. 

Not knowing at the time but the shock of Erbie’s sudden passing and his inability to understand it, this traumatic event was to become the start of his mental health issues, as he focused all his energy on his studies and basketball to drown out the pain. 

It wasn’t until he attended college that he found out he was suffering from depression, and after getting the tools to help him deal with his day to day life, he now has become one of best mental health advocates in the country. 

He now resides in Barcelona, Spain, speaking at different speaking events about mental illness, however, he returns regularly to give regular speeches and talks around the country. 

Daragh has also written several poetry books on mental illness and is currently in the middle of writing another two different books.

The Glounthaune native, Daragh was first introduced to basketball in fourth class at St Anthony’s School and it is there he met his friend Kieran Chopra, who played with local club Fr Mathew’s.

In terms of the teams he played with, there are three clubs that shaped his career. Fr Mathew’s where he played underage and for the first five years of his adult career at local Division 1 level, and then at National League level. 

Then, he moved to Dublin to play with DCU Vincent’s at Super League level, and then he finished his playing days with Ballincollig, playing on the national League team that got the club promoted to the Super League in 2019/20.

Daragh now heads up the content department for an Irish youth mental health charity, A Lust For Life, as well as giving talks on mental health, writing poetry, and takes on well being.

“Erbie died on January 20th, 2012, almost 12 years ago. At the time we were both playing with Fr Mathew’s, on two teams, the U20 and Division 1 side as well as on my school team at Douglas Community School,” Daragh said.

“I hadn’t found writing yet really, but I started writing letters to Erbie on the advice of a counsellor, which helped in a small way to vent all of the emotions I was feeling. 

“But my biggest coping mechanism was basketball. 

“Erbie and I played on the same teams together, it was our greatest connection, and so it was the best way to connect with him after he was gone. 

It also became a place where I could forget everything that was happening – all the grief and pain. I really threw my entire self into basketball after he passed. 

“I often wonder how much worse things would have been for me if I didn’t have this outlet? I started to suspect I had depression in college. 

“I was studying Applied Psychology, and when we began to learn about depression I saw myself in a lot of the symptoms we were learning about, the most prominent one for me being that I couldn’t feel any emotions really. Even so, it took me a further two years and a panic attack to actually admit I needed help. 

BURDEN

“At the time, I saw depression as a failure, so I denied having it. But once I admitted things were too difficult to carry alone, I started going to a therapist. 

“The biggest thing I took from that was learning to repair the relationship I had with myself. 

“I carried so much guilt, being here when Erbie wasn’t. I didn’t like myself, didn’t think I deserved to be happy. 

I began journaling, which put me on the path to writing full-time about mental health and life in general. 

“I began meditating, and keeping a routine for my mental health, I soon realised how much I relied on exercise for my wellbeing – all of these things helped me to climb out from beneath depression.

“Erbie was part of every team I played with and was he well known in Cork basketball. 

“My coach at the time was Paul Barrett, and my senior coach was Kieran Doherty, who were both providing support and helping me to get my mind away from what had happened. And teammates like Chris O’Flynn, Kieran Chopra, Sean Cantwell, Peter Mullane and then Adrian O’Sullivan, who had also been close to Erbie and who went on to become a close friend of mine.

“There’s no shortage of places to learn. I read a lot, there’s a seemingly infinite amount of information online. I speak to people about their experiences, I chat to psychologists and experts. 

“But really the most affective tool has been understanding myself, what I need and what negatively impacts my mental health, which I learned how to do and understand through therapy.”