Describing Every NFL Team’s Nightmare 2024 Season in 1 Sentence or Less

Now that most NFL teams generally know what they and the competition will look like in 2024, we have a chance to take some time during these slower points in the offseason to look at some best- and worst-case scenarios.

In this case, let’s go around the league with a half empty glass.

Here’s a one-sentence nightmare for each of the 32 NFL teams in 2024.

Buffalo Bills: Josh Allen suffers from the loss of his two most productive receivers, the team lacks chemistry following considerable losses, and Aaron Rodgers takes the Jets to the top of the division.

Miami Dolphins: Tua Tagovailoa either falls victim to injuries like in the past or again fails to win when it matters, especially if either happens after he signs a potentially massive new contract.

New England Patriots: They throw underprepared rookie Drake Maye to the wolves with limited support, resulting in long-term damage to the 21-year-old’s confidence.

New York Jets: In his age-41 season, Rodgers shows us that his huge decline as a 39-year-old in 2022 and major injury in 2023 were the beginning of the end.

Baltimore Ravens: Behind a depleted offensive line, Lamar Jackson struggles to stay healthy and doesn’t receive enough support from a potentially washed Derrick Henry, as the Ravens again fall short of the Super Bowl.

Cincinnati Bengals: Following more offensive-line shuffling, Joe Burrow—who has been sacked 148 times in 52 regular-season games and twice landed on injured reserve—again fails to stay healthy enough to help the team make a run.

Cleveland Browns: The well-paid Deshaun Watson, who has started just 12 games since the end of 2020 and was thoroughly unimpressive in most of those outings, fails to regain his magic from 2017-2020 in Houston.

Pittsburgh Steelers: Russell Wilson proves he’s toast while Justin Fields proves he’s a bust, but the defense remains good enough to keep them out of the top portion of Round 1.

Houston Texans: Two words: sophomore slump(s).

Indianapolis Colts: A scenario in which they again win just enough to lose out on significant draft capital without getting a proper feel for what Anthony Richardson could bring to the table.

Jacksonville Jaguars: Another non-elite year from Trevor Lawrence, either at a premium rate or on the brink of an offseason in which the Jaguars will have to make a huge financial call on his future.

Tennessee Titans: A scenario in which they win just enough to lose out on significant draft capital without getting a strong indication that Will Levis is the future at quarterback.

Denver Broncos: Accidentally or not, they again somehow post a .500-ish record and cost themselves tons of draft capital in a rebuild year.

Kansas City Chiefs: Anything short of a deep playoff run or an injury to Patrick Mahomes.

Las Vegas Raiders: Davante Adams continues to decline, two young elite tight ends proves superfluous, and their two backup-caliber quarterbacks perform like backup-caliber quarterbacks.

Los Angeles Chargers: Jim Harbaugh and Justin Herbert don’t jibe, and a bad defense doesn’t save a team that may be getting low on patience.

Dallas Cowboys: Dak Prescott again gets them to the playoffs and again falls on his face, leaving Dallas without a quarterback or substantial draft capital next offseason.

New York Giants: Significant offensive upgrades pave the way for a semi-competitive season despite more disappointment from Daniel Jones, leaving the Giants with a big decision and limited draft capital.

Philadelphia Eagles: Massive changes on defense and within the coaching staff don’t fix what ailed a team that lost six of its last seven games with a similar core in 2023,

Washington Commanders: Most would have to agree this is a reset year, so there really isn’t a nightmare scenario unless Jayden Daniels has a poor rookie season or suffers an injury.

Chicago Bears: If Caleb Williams pulls a Bryce Young circa 2023, especially if Justin Fields finds a groove in Pittsburgh.

Detroit Lions: With his bag made, Jared Goff comes back to earth and the curse continues.

Green Bay Packers: Jordan Love shows his breakout 2023 run was a fluke, but the team still competes enough to rob itself of a high draft pick in order to replace him.

Minnesota Vikings: They get no clarity at quarterback in support of the now wildly high-paid Justin Jefferson.

Atlanta Falcons: Kirk Cousins doesn’t bounce back from a major injury at age 35, they stubbornly refuse to get a feel for Michael Penix Jr., and a strong group of offensive weapons keeps them out of the top 10 in the draft.

Carolina Panthers: Anything short of redemption for 2023 top pick Bryce Young.

New Orleans Saints: A team with enough talent to compete but not enough to contend competes without contending and continues to refuse to commit to a rebuild.

Tampa Bay Buccaneers: Baker Mayfield implodes and reveals his breakout 2023 campaign was an anomaly, but they again win a soft division anyway and are again short on draft capital.

Arizona Cardinals: After two seasons ruined by injuries, Kyler Murray can’t get it back on track and the Cardinals are left with a massive financial decision at quarterback.

Los Angeles Rams: The veteran core performs just well enough to delay a needed rebuild for a team that is not Super Bowl-caliber.

San Francisco 49ers: Brock Purdy finally comes back to earth in the regular season, rather than the playoffs.

Seattle Seahawks: They get no clarity at quarterback but again post a decent record and have no obvious path at that critical position.